I am in an in between place in life, a place of simultaneously wanting time to stand still and yet anxiously awaiting the arrival of something beautiful. Soaking up moments when it's just our little family of three having an adventure, knowing soon we will be adding another person to the mix that will change the dynamic. Pausing to appreciate moments alone with my son, observing him play, imagine, explore, knowing that the times when it's just the two of us will be more rare. Feeling inspired by the work community I have as I prepare to take ten months off, and appreciating how the school I work at has shaped me. Trying to savor every little belly kick and movement, as I become more and more uncomfortable each day.
A part of me wants the baby to be here already so we can jump into this next chapter of newborn bliss, extreme joy, incomparable love, tears, sleep deprivation, and all of the highs and lows that come with caring for a new little human. I want to meet our new family member and know if it is a boy or a girl. And yet I want to relish these last weeks with the baby still inside, because I know that so much change will be happening with the arrival of our new little one.
The good thing is that I have a lot of peace about what is to come, even though there are a lot of unknowns. How will our baby be born? Will it turn or still be breech? When will it be born? How will Everett respond? Will breastfeeding be any easier this time? I am nervous, but mostly just really excited to get to be a mother of two.